Least interesting cover story of the week: Jessica Simpson postpones her wedding.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Yet again, a celebrity story is on the cover of a supermarket rag without any artwork, so it gets the nod for Least Interesting Story of the Week. I'm sneaking it into the extended Thursday line-up because we have two Jessica Simpson stories that disagree with one another.

Besides no artwork, OK! reported the same story two weeks ago. This means Us is two weeks late and a picture short.

For shame, I say, for shame!

Bells Aren't Ringing Alert™: Justin won't marry Jen!

Publication: Star
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There are three stories about Jennifer Aniston and her upcoming wedding, supposedly late this year in Mexico. Leave it to Star to put a turd in the punch bowl with a cover that says Justin's "pals" say he won't go through with it.

Bells Aren't Ringing Alert™: Jessica Simpson's wedding on hold!

Publication: OK!
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson have been an item since July of last year. A lot of the stories about them focused on them rushing things. Supposedly, she was racing her ex Nick Lachey to see who would get married first.

She lost that race.

Now, OK! reports the wedding is on hold, which as far as I can tell is exactly what her family wants.

On the rocks alert: Kristin jilted at the altar!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 8 August 2011

Only Weekly Life & Style thought former reality TV star Kristin Cavallari's engagement last May was newsworthy, and they are also the only magazine that thinks Kristin getting dumped is newsworthy as well. They also thought it was worth exclusive pictures.

Non scoop of the week! BrAngelina's secret wedding in France!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 4 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! In Touch goes with one of the standbys, BrAngelina getting hitched. Actually, the majority of stories saying they have had a secret wedding already have been peddled by In Touch. Just in case they think someone has noticed, on this story they have a special "It's Official!" headline.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think if something the only people allowed to keep things both official and secret are governments.

Here's the rest of the headlines.

• Secret Wedding in France
• Angelina's stunning L'Wren Scott gown and vintage ring
• Brad's emotional vow to his new wife
• The surprising celeb guest!
  

Of course, it's already been denied. If you don't know the name L'Wren Scott, she's the towering designer and love interest of the much older Mick Jagger.