On the rocks alert: Caroline Kennedy saves Maria Shriver from divorce hell!

Publication: Globe
Date: 22 August 2011

In June, it looked like the Arnold and Maria split might have legs, but here we are in mid-August and the story has been ignored. One theory for this is that he's too powerful and the magazines are trying not to piss him off. Another theory would be that the story is less interesting because Maria is not a young woman capable of maternity. A third would be that none of the gossip rags has a source near enough to the couple that will dig up fresh dirt.

In any case, the Globe goes with a story that includes Caroline Kennedy coming to cousin Maria's rescue. Here are the headlines.

• Caroline Kennedy's revenge on cheating Arnold!
• She rescues cousin Maria from divorce hell!
  

Meanest story nominee: Maria Shriver collapses.

Publication: Globe
Date: 18 July 2011

According to the Globe, Maria Shriver collapsed just days before signing the divorce papers. Technically, she has filed for divorce, but most people use the phrase "divorce papers" to signify the finalization contract that both parties are compelled to sign.

In any case, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

On the rocks alert: Divorce Wars!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 4 July 2011

The Flagship takes up most of the cover trashing the marriages if entertainers. One couple is making their first visit to the front pages, another is making only its second visit and first inkling there is trouble, and the third one is no surprise at all.

Welcome to gossip hell, Bruce Boxleitner and Melissa Gilbert! Just for a change of pace, the headline "All Melissa's Dirty Secrets & Lies!" makes it look like the wife is to blame.

This is also the first gossip rag mention of Tim McGraw and Faith Hill have a "troubled marriage".


And last but certainly least in terms of the surprise factor, we have "Maria's Plan to destroy Arnold forever".

Best of luck, hon.