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The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow Alert™: Not quite the predicted flood in September.

Way back in June, the Sun gave us some Mayan prophecies for this year, which kinda sorta came true but on a teeny tiny scale.

The first was Midwest earthquakes in July. There are always earthquakes in the Midwest, especially around Arkansas, but they are little things, not even 3.0 on the Richter scale.

(For the record, the big East Coast quake was not in July.)

There was also a report of the entire U.S. being swept by floods in September, with a graphic of a big wave hitting the Statue of Liberty, not unlike this special effects shot from The Day After Tomorrow.

There were floods, but nothing like what was predicted.

Carry on with your everyday existence.

Dancing With The Stars' Lacey bullied for her body

Publication: In Touch
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Lacey Schwimmer! She's partnered with Chaz Bono this season, and this report says she was "bullied for her body".

You So Crazy Alert™: Casey Anthony headed for mental ward.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

We get another big Casey Anthony headline this week, this time from the Enquirer and based entirely on a "friend fears" speculation about Casey being sent to a mental institution, where she will be subjected to "the straight-jacket, padded cell and shock treatments!"

Stay classy, Enquirer!

On the rocks alert: Halle's custody battle turns violent.

Publication: Star
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

The supermarket rags leave Halle Berry alone for the most part. The last time she was mentioned was when her ex Gabriel Aubry was romantically linked with Kim Kardashian for about a minute and a half earlier this year. Now there are "secret court papers" saying that her custody battle has grown violent.

Whatever excuse I get for using this picture of her, I don't mind.

'Cos she's purdy.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Another story about Hollywood women who weigh too little.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Yet another grab bag story about women in show business obsessing about their weight and getting too skinny in the process. Here are the headlines.

• Sandra's heartbroken again - over Ryan Reynolds' new romance.
  
• Lonely and insecure, she drops to her lowest weight ever
  
• (skin and bones)
  

• Demi: Starving herself after cheating scandal

• Kendra: What I did to get thin

• Julie Bowen: Pressure to look perfect

And this is the opportunity to write: Welcome to gossip hell, Julie Bowen!