On the Rocks alert and Bun In The Oven Alert™: Jay-Z's secret love child.

Publication: Star

Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Jay-Z!  While his bride Beyoncé get mentioned on the cover of a supermarket rag every two months or so on average, This is the multi-platinum rapper's first story in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter.

 

And it's not an auspicious beginning. In an exclusive story, Star says Jay-Z is the father of a love child and this is a "shock" for his newly pregnant wife.

Bells Done Rung Alert™: The Wedding Album of Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse! She's an actress and he's on HGTV, one of those cable networks I never watched even when I had cable. Us thinks it's newsworthy that they got hitched. Honest people can disagree.

Best wishes to the happy couple.

The Price Is Right sex scandal explodes.

Publication: Globe
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The Globe prints a story aimed at their couch potato target demographic. Lanisha Cole, a prize fondler fired from The Price Is Right, is suing for sexual harassment. The cover has pictures of Drew Carey and Ms. Cole, but Carey is not the actual target of the suit, the producers are. The Globe promises to have "bombshell court papers" inside.

Lady Gaga stole my man.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Lady Gaga is not one of the favorite targets of the Only Ten Magazines That Matter, but the stories about her tend to have a negative slant. Last year she was labeled a homewrecker, so calling her a man stealer is about par for the course.

On the rocks alert: Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Us tells us that the romance of Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz is no more. Weekly Life & Style had the same story last June. Checking online, they got back together after the last split, but now have decided to go their separate ways again.

Annoying label bookkeeping for Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong story of 26 Sept.

Link to the post below.

Problems With Plastic Alert: Plastic surgery gone wrong!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The low rent Examiner goes with a story about plastic surgery snafus, most of them on women older than I am, some who were famous before I graduated high school. There are pictures of Loni Anderson, Linda Evans (pictured above), Priscilla Presley, Courtney Love and Tanya Tucker, all of them looking a bit too much like Mickey Rourke.

Courtney Love is the odd person out on this list. Everyone else was famous in the 1960s or 1970s, while Love's fame started in the 1990s. Many from the target demographic for the low rent Examiner won't even know who she is.